Nothing I Can Do

So recently the NET Canada iNFUSE teams got to have our December retreat in Alberta.  It was a beautiful retreat center by the name of Ephphapha house. The snow lay in thick coats over the ground and would fall in heavy flakes.  The frozen lake was surrounded by hills that emptied out into it. It felt like our own little secluded part of heaven.  It was there that I began to reflect on many of the things I had struggled with over the first half of the year.

  Whether it was the seeming inability to have a highly deep prayer life, or love to the best of my ability, or simply be a good youth minister the answer to all of these short comings was the same; Pride.  

See over the past little while I had taken too much responsibility for my change onto my shoulders.  My Pride had gotten the better of me and I began trying to fix things and be better on my own merit.  I had started to pretend that I could be changed by anything other than the cross.  This simply wasn’t true.  

Pride had snaked its way into my actions poisoning and polluting them, but the antidote was given to me in a place of great healing; you guessed right folks a church.  During the homily the Priest said something that struck me to my core.  “Do not trust me Lord for I will betray you. I put my trust in you to make me holy.” Boom, I mean it doesn’t get much clearer than that does it?

How often do we believe that by sheer will and our own merit we will become holy?  This is a pride of ourselves that claims we can fight the battle on our own.  Taking refuge in this idea is equivalent to walking into war in nothing but your pajamas, without anyone backing you up.  If I’m honest, things seem pretty bleak for us in this scenario.  The alternative is much better; the alternative is admitting that there is nothing I can do to make myself holier except ask him too.

So this Christmas season I want to urge you, if you are struggling with something like a sin or a roadblock to love accept that you can’t fix it and give it to God.  Take it to the manger and be humbled by the fact that the little baby Jesus can help you more than you can help yourself.  Take comfort in the fact that God, the ruler of the entire universe has your back.

Have yourself a Merry Christmas!

~Zy Miller

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